


Always

by HuntersandCeremonials



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3166265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersandCeremonials/pseuds/HuntersandCeremonials
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*Edited 1/7/15 <br/>I have decided to put this series on hiatus, while I work on other projects. I don't know when I'll pick it up again (but I'm hoping not to leave it too long).</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Edited 1/7/15   
> I have decided to put this series on hiatus, while I work on other projects. I don't know when I'll pick it up again (but I'm hoping not to leave it too long).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has been drifting for a long time. Deciding to move to a new town to be closer to his family and learn to live for himself.
> 
> Dean’s brother Sam suggests a new coffee joint, where Dean meets the strangest guy he’s ever come across, who will take him completely out of his comfort zone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello this is my first time posting something...and kinda writing something.  
> If there are any spelling or grammar mistakes please let me know so I am able to correct them.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy :)
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://eleanorball.tumblr.com)

One of the fundamentals of life is a good coffee. Dean has slept in cars on the side of the road, travelled around from state to state, been in and out of school. The one consent thing in Dean's life has been coffee. Sad to admit, but the closes thing to a home that Dean Winchester had was a crappy dinner nestled on the side of the road. Even sadder to admit was that the closes thing to a friend was whoever held that cup of coffee. 

People had laughed at Dean’s declaration of love for the hot beverage. But after a long night or an early morning there was nothing he would rather. From the first sip to the last pull it had felt like almost being normal, liquid motivation.  
When Dean was younger himself, his father John and his brother Sam were always on the road. John was an ex-marine who could never get comfortable and would move from state to state looking for something that he never seemed to find. As you could imagine it become very frustrating for John who would uproot his sons at a moments notice and drag them off to somewhere new.

Even after Dean went his separate way from John he stared to feel the same anxiousness that John had displayed. Spending a year on the road, with the one consistency being the road side dinners. He had spent long hours sitting ordering nothing but a black coffee and pie and watching the cars drive by wondering if the people in the cars had their lives together and how did they do it and why did he have to have a father like John.

Dean had been the one to raise Sam, teaching him the do's and don’ts even if Dean had only just learnt those things a moment before himself. He liked being a big brother having someone look up to him, someone beside the diners that could be consistent. Dean had done everything in my power to raise his brother right, keeping him from becoming his father or worse himself. 

Sam received a full scholarship and Dean couldn’t be prouder. Their father had grunted his praise before returning to packing again. The small town they were staying in made John feel uneasy and had decided that it was best to leave. Dean rapped himself around Sam in a hug, smiling from ear to ear. 

“I’m so proud of you Sammy” 

Dean had muttered before letting go and messing his brothers hair up. Sam didn’t even seem bothered, his eyes were bright and he was glowing. 

“What are you going to do? Will you try and get into a college too?”

Sam had asked with eagerness, probably hoping that this acceptances letter meant hope for both the boys. That after seeing this Dean would feel inspired to get his own life together. But no the thought had never crossed his mind he was just happy that Sam could leave this life, get his degree, find a girl settle down own his own house finally be happy. But Dean had not thought what that would mean for him.

“Ah, I don’t think so Sammy. That kinda thing is not really for me”

Dean started playing with his hands, hoping that his answer was enough and they could forget and go out to celebrate. But no dice, Sam seemed to deflate at his answer and Dean wished that he had lied.

“Come on man you don’t really want this” Sam gestured to the hotel room. They hadn’t even stayed long enough in this new town to rent a place.

Dean sighed pushing his fingers into the spot between his eyes walking past Sam into the small kitchenette, which isn’t as good escape as an actual kitchen would have been, only really allowing Dean to have his back to Sam.

“I don’t know, this is all I really know. What would I do? Do you really see me running to classes and cramming for exams? That’s not me”

Dean could hear Sam sigh behind him.

“Ok maybe not college. But maybe you could get a job find a place. Actually stay somewhere longer then 6 months”

Dean could feel Sam begging, he knew that Sam would want Dean to leave. Maybe not go with him, but be away from their father and away from whatever sickness John had lurking around him.  
Dean knew Sam wouldn’t let this go and would probably threaten not to go to college unless Dean was leaving as well. And that had been the plan for Dean. Once Sam got into college then Dean would be free as well. He stayed with John because he couldn’t leave his brother with John, no Dean would stay till Sam left. 

* * *

But now the day had come and Dean didn’t know what to do, maybe it was already to late for him.

Dean tried, he really did. When Sam left for school Dean had left John, who didn’t seem to care and only muttered that at least it would be easier to move around. Dean had found a job working in a small marketing firm, mostly admiration stuff data entry, answering phone calls and getting coffee. The firm had soon discovered that even though Dean was overly dependent on coffee he sure as hell couldn’t make the stuff.

Dean had tried dating, been in a semi stable relationship. Though he seemed to struggle a lot with relationships. People were hard, emotions were harder.  
Dean felt that whatever he did was wrong or too late. Dean would always see the relationship ending before it did, saw it tearing and he would watch, watch it as it ripped and frayed yet doing nothing to stop it, leaving both Dean and his partner exhausted and broken. 

By the time Sam had now finished his second year of college Dean had lived in three different apartments. Been in three different relationships and countless not relationships. Dean had stuck to staying in the one place trying to make Sam happy with not traveling around a lot like his father but Dean felt the uneasiness of staying in a place too long, he felt uneasy like a bad smell following you around. 

Dean had also managed to keep his job at the marketing firm. Which Sam had been proud of, pushing Dean to try harder maybe get a promotion move up in the company. Dean had agreed and entertained Sam’s ideas but never followed through. Dean didn’t hate his job but he didn’t like it either. So when life eventually came around to bite him on the ass and make the company he was working for redundant he couldn’t pull himself to feel disappointment or panic he just felt relief.  
Right where his brother life had been soaring his was drowning. 

* * *

It was a Wednesday, Dean had been told on Monday that the company was bankrupt and everyone was being let go within the week. He had started looking for another job with the advice of his brother. Nothing, zip, zero nada looks like the rest of the world was also looking for work, and Dean didn’t have a lot of experience having only worked two years in the company and never moving up from errand boy, which didn’t look to good on a resume. 

It looks like another move might be necessary, Dean had some savings in his bank account but felt it would be best to leave that until he was really desperate. Yes it looked like Dean was going back to the corner dinners drinking coffee at 3 in the morning and moving from hotel to hotel. Sam wouldn’t be happy about that. Yes just another day in the life of Dean Winchester. 

Dean walked into his apartment pushing off his shoes and dumping the shopping bags on the counter top too tired to put them away probably. The light on the answering machine flashed, Dean wondering who would have called him, the only person Dean talked too was his brother and he would call Dean's mobile knowing that at this time of day he would be at the supermarket avoiding going home and aimlessly walking around. Dean grabbed a beer out of the fridge and pressed play sitting on the couch and putting my feet up on the coffee table. God Lisa used to hate that. 

Lisa was the last relationship Dean had been in, and was the one that had lasted the longest, two years, two whole years Sam had even stared asking Dean when he was going to pop the question which made Dean panic he didn’t know if he wanted this for the rest of his life, yes it was comfortable but it wasn’t happy. Still Dean moved in and made it look like that was the road he was going down, and some days that’s what it felt like.  
But when it eventually ended and it ended messy with Lisa feeling that Dean lead her on and Dean feeling that Lisa had pressured and forced him neither party’s parted happy. And it had started with Dean putting his feet on the coffee table, he knew she hated it and maybe that’s why he still does it.

The message stared to play after the usual spill, Dean repeating the answering machine before knocking his beer back. “One new message received at 5:30 17th September-“ Bobby’s gruff voice starts down the line.

“Hello Dean, it’s Bobby” A deep sigh pushes through the answering machine.  
“Jesus Dean it’s John”

Dean had stopped calling John his father, after a huge fight in which Dean had refused to pay for John’s bail money after a drunken brawl. It was ridiculous John was suppose to be bailing him out of jail for stupid behaviour not the other way around. John had called Dean a disappointment and an embarrassment. John’s eldest son still a coffee boy with no wife, and clearing going nowhere. Yes that had been when Dean had realised that John wasn’t someone who got the honour of being called a Dad. Sam seemed to have never called John Dad guess he saw it from day one.

“Dean, John’s dead”

Dean didn’t-couldn’t hear the rest of the message, everything around him seemed to become white noise. He could feel every breath ripping through his chest and closing around him.

 

Dean Winchester’s father was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> Thanks for reading, again if you find any mistakes please let me know, and I'll fix them :)
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://eleanorball.tumblr.com)

Dean exhales slowly as he takes in his new apartment. After the news of the death of his father. Dean had driven down to Lawrence to meet his brother and bury his father.

The only people to attend the funeral was himself, Sam his brother and their family friend Bobby, who had been the one to break the news to Dean in the first place. Only three people to bury his father, only three people who care. This thought scared Dean and a picture of his own funeral crosses his mind, John had three people Dean could only think of two and the thought sends a chill down his spine. 

Dean had been surprised and relieved to find that Bobby didn’t live to far away from Sam. Sam was currently living on university campus, which was located in a small town. Sam having chosen to go to the smaller university after a trip down and falling in love with the town and all it’s quirks, had decided that this was the place for him. 

Bobby and Sam had driven down together with them living so close. The were currently residing in an old bar their father used to visit. Dean had been quite all day, and if he was honest he’d been quite since he found out the news about his father. He’d definitely felt the rug get pulled out from under his feet.

“Dean!”

Dean jumped and looked up to see Sam waving a hand in front of his face. Dean Slapped the hand away mumbling a “knock it off.”

“Have you heard anything I’ve been saying?” 

Dean shakes his head pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes to relieve the pressure and pain of a headache he’s had all day. Or to try and make it worse he hadn’t quite decided. 

Sam sighs and rolls his eyes. Looking over at Bobby searching for back-up. Bobby shakes his head and takes a sip from his beer. Sam’s focus comes back to Dean, wishful thinking that he would drop it. Sam never drops anything.

“I was saying” Sam continues louder to ensure Dean would be listening. “That maybe you could move down closer to us, Bobby and myself” Sam gestures towards himself and Bobby, it seemed like an awkward parent intervention. “Given the opportunity.”

“What? Sam, the opportunity?” Dean asks confused he looks towards Bobby who just shrugs, Dean glares at him. Bobby has well and fully fed him to the sharks.

“I think-we think you need to be closer to family, and maybe a change in scenery would help as well” Sam smiles at him encouragingly.

Rising his eyebrows Dean gestures between the two “So both of you?” he asks eyes lingering longer on Bobby.

“Hey boy don’t look at me, it was all your brothers thinking” Bobby takes a long swig of his beer. Sam glares at him. 

“But I also think would help” Bobby seems to back petal. Sam rolls his eyes muttering “unbelievable.”

“Jesus Bobby get off the fence before you get a splinter in your ass.” Dean slams his drink down on the table. “And what the hell Sam, your the one who told me to-“ Dean uses his finger to convey air quotes “settle down” “and now you want me to leave, what do you want from me?” Dean hears the crack at the end in his voice and hopes the other two don’t hear it, he’s never really had much luck.

Sam expression looks pained “Dean, all I want is for you to be happy, and you’re not. You haven’t been in awhile. I’m worried about you.”

Dean sighs and rubs his hands over his face and through his hair. He is tried and he wonders how much sleep he would need to shake the tiredness out of his bones that seems to be always there. His life had taken an unexpected turn he was the older brother he should be the one giving lectures, worrying  and looking after his brother, not the other way around. He had worked so hard that Sam would be happy and healthy. He didn’t want him looking after him, that’s the last thing he wanted.

“Sam-“ Dean begins lowering his voice, Sam seems to know immediately that Dean is going to shut him out. 

“No Dean!” Sam begins “you have always been putting everyone before yourself, now that john’s dead-“ Dean sucks in a breath and feels like someone has just dumped a bucket of cold water down his back. Sam ignores Dean’s discomfort. 

“John’s dead there’s no need to shadow him, you can start to do what you want to do.”

Dean doesn’t want to have this conversation. He doesn’t believe that his father was holding him back. Dean’s life had been focused entirely around Sam he’d never entertained the idea of what he wanted out his own life, as long as Sam was happy that was enough for him. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go. Everything he tried just seemed to make him feel more detached and lonely. 

“Ok ok, what did you-“ Dean makes a point to only be talking to Sam, pretending Bobby isn’t there, this does’t seem to effect the older man in the slightest. “-have in mind?” 

Sam seems to perk up at Dean’s easy defeat. When in truth Dean wants to stop talking about it and this seemed the easies way. 

“Well” Sam begins to pull out brochures from his jacket. “I was thinking Addison Valley it would be great, I go to university there and it’s only thirty minutes away from Bobby. And there’s plenty of apartments” Sam looks up at Dean beaming.

Dean swallows. “Wow you’re serious about this?” 

Sam looks confused for a second before shaking it off. 

“Of course why wouldn’t I be? after you lost your job-“

“Made redundant” Dean clarifies 

“-yeah that” Sam continues “I’ve been thinking that maybe you could move closer to me and Bobby. And this town Dean, it’s great I think you’d really like it.” 

Dean closes his eyes and breaths out. His contract for his current apartment is coming to an end, theres no job waiting for him, there really was nothing for him back there. Dean feels the shiver down his spin again. What if this town was the same or worse, what would he do then? Maybe he didn’t belong anywhere. The funeral scene comes back into Dean’s mind only there’s no-one there.

“Alright, I’ll visit the place have a…look”

Sam breaks into a big smile. “You won’t regret this Dean you’ll love it.”

“Yeah, yeah no promises I’ll still need to find a job.”

At this admission Sam looks at Bobby and elbows him in the ribs.

“Guess this is where I come in” Bobby grunts.

Bobby pulls out a business card. “I have a friend down there who runs a garage, I know you might not want to walk at a garage forever but it’s a start and it’ll help you set up- if that’s what you want of course.” Bobby seems to sit back, picking up his beer and going back to looking disinterested. 

“Of course” Dean repeats. “This is an intervention isn’t it?”

Sam looks shocked shaking his head while Bobby just nods before Sam hits elbows him again. 

“No it’s not Dean” Sam says before turning to Bobby “it’s not” he repeats as Bobby changes nodding his head to shaking it. 

Dean rolls his eyes. 

“Right.”   
    

* * *

   
A few days later Dean is standing in a small apartment. Sam and Bobby had arranged more than they let on. The town is small but not remote, it has everything someone could need. He exhales staring out the window. Dean didn’t feel anything coming into this town, it all felt the same nothing special, maybe Dean was used to feeling detached when going somewhere new.

Bobby walks up behind him and pats him on the shoulder. 

“What do you think?”

Dean turns to look at him. “What do you think I should do Bobby?” Dean doesn’t know what to do, he knows he sounds like his pleading and right now he doesn’t care. He wants someone else to make the decision, he really doesn’t believe he can be trusted. Sure helping Sam and giving him advice was easy but when it came to him, his mind draws a blank. Not even his mind has the energy to help him.

“I don’t know son, I can’t make this decision for you-” Bobby gives him a small smile. He can see the panic in Dean eyes and clears his throat “-but you know you have family here, and maybe this isn’t the place for you either but your young Dean you are allowed to change your mind till you find what’s right for you.”

Dean nods, he feels like their tip toeing around him and he hates it. Sam walks into the room with a huge smile on his face, spreading his arms out wide. 

“Well what do you think? great isn’t it?” 

Dean answer leaves before he can really process what he’s saying.

“Yeah it’s great maybe this can work” Dean smiles up at Sam, he really can’t say no to Sam and would do anything to make him happy. 

Sam beams at him “I knew you would love it!” 

Sam walks over to Dean and pats him on the back looking around the room. Dean can almost see him going through furniture and interior design.

Dean rolls his eyes as Bobby gives him a sympathetic smile before chucking to himself. 

Dean can’t see anything remotely funny about this situation.

* * *

There is still so much for Dean to unpack. He had called the garage, that Bobby had suggested before moving in. They had seemed more than happy to take him in. He had a suspicion that Bobby may have helped a lot in this regard. The garage was short on staff and happy for his to start straight away. This was good news for Dean he could dive straight into work and keep himself occupied.

Dean looks at the boxes again he really hadn’t unpacked anything and wasn’t keen to start now. A small part of him has him thinking that there’s no point in unpacking if he was going to leave anyway. 

Sam had given him a list of places to try in town. At the moment the only thing that looks appealing is a bar, but it was too early for a drink and Dean didn’t want to start any bad habits. So the next best thing was coffee.

The place on the list “Eden’s Garden” didn’t sound like a place he would usually visit, and probably not a place that would appreciate his lack of palate, with his love of straight black coffee.

Dean sighs before deciding to at least give the place a chance. it’s not too far from his apartment and decides he would walk there and get a look around the town and get his bearings. The town is quite small but still larger then Dean would have expected. Sam was right it is beautiful and pretty quiet. Dean lets out a breath before seeing the sign for Eden’s Garden up ahead. It stops him in his tracks. 

“Son of a bitch.”

The place was an organic health food place, would it even sell coffee? Dean is temped to turn around but finds himself walking closer.

The shop is small and has two large widows to see in with tables and chairs sitting outside making it look like a cafe in an old french movie. Dean walks inside and see’s aisles with varies health and vitamins with that weird smell of carob chocolate that all health food places always seem to have. There’s a coffee bar towards the back of the shop. Dean moves towards it.

Dean hears something fall and see’s a bottle of vitamins roll towards him. There must be another person in the shop, it had looked pretty empty from the outside. Dean picked up the bottle and moves around the corner to see if he can find where it came from.

He stops to find a man standing on a rickety ladder that is barely held together by, yep that’s duck tape. Dean can’t believe the ladder is staying together.

Dean walks up to the man feeling scared for him, this ladder couldn’t be safe.

“Ah excuse me, I think you dropped this”

The man jumps and nearly loses his balance. Dean grabs the ladder as it wobbles. The man brings a hand to his chest and lets out a long breath. 

“Really need to get a bell for that door” Dean hears the man say under his breath.

The mans voice is low and he’s staring straight ahead seeming to ground himself before turning around. The man looks down at Dean and a smile spills across his face.

“Jesus Christ.” Dean lets out.

The man’s has piercing blue eyes that seem bottomless like the ocean. Big, beautiful and terrifying.

“That’s a nice complement-”  the man says stepping down the ladder and standing in front of Dean. He spreads his arms out. 

“-But no, I’m Castiel, angel of the lord” Castiel seems to smile at an inside joke. 

“An angle of the what?” Dean whispers trying to wrap his head around whats going on in front of him. He’s not sure if he’s blinked through the whole exchange. Castiel seems to be suffering as well from the lack of blinking, though does’t seem as effected by it.

“Angel of the lord. It’s in reference to my name, it’s an angel” 

Dean shallows “Are you saying you’re an angel?” 

Castiel huffs out a laugh at Dean’s question, he’s about to say something when Dean hears someone towards the back of the shop.

“Oh bloody hell Cassie, you really need to get new material” Dean’s head whips around to see another man making his way out from a doorway behind the coffee bistro. He is carrying a tray filed with mugs. Having just finished cleaning them. Castiel glares at the man.

“I told you before, never call me Cassie, you know I hate it. Don’t want it catching on” Castle walks around Dean taking the bottle out of his hand and moving toward the bistro. Dean is starting to think that he needed the coffee more than he thought he did.

“Are you traveling around this area?”

Dean turns and finds Castiel staring at him, his smile has returned and he seems amused, Dean feels as though he’s missing something.

“Ah no, I ah just moved here.” Dean is stumbling on his words and see’s the flicker in Castiel eyes he must be able to sense Dean’s discomfort. He nods.

“Why the hell would you want to move here?”  The other man questions he has finished putting the mugs away and has a towel hanging over his shoulder. His whole demeanor seems abrupt. Dean can see Castiel smile and roll his eyes, almost having a silent conversation with him.

“Apologies my cousin Balthazar has a tends to be rude, you’ll get used to him or learn how to ignore him.”

Castiel seems to bounce on his feet as Balthazar glares at the back of his head. 

“How did you find out about this town?” Castiel asks oblivious to Balthazar’s death stare behind him. Castiel has ignoring the man down to as art.

“Well my brother Sam lives here” 

Castiel’s eyes seem to beam upon hearing the name “Sam Winchester? He’s your brother?”

Dean reluctantly nods.

“Then you must be Dean Winchester?” Castiel walks back over and extends his hand. Dean doesn’t accept it for awhile choosing instead to stare at Castiel. Dean doesn’t understand this man and finds himself trying to find the answers in the man eyes, but doesn’t seem to find anything instead becoming more lost.

Dean lifts his hand with Castiel taking it and shaking.

“How do you know my name?” Dean asks, he is shaking Castiel’s hand in a daze and drops it a minute to slow after the contact leaving his hand suspended before returning back to his side.

“Sam talks about you all the time, it’s a little annoying really. Kinda makes me feels he’s a little co-dependent.” Castiel seems to shiver.  
Dean huffs out a laugh. ignoring the last part like what he’s been doing with a few bucks this man seems to have and Dean’s sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Castiel has walked behind the bistro and has starting playing with the machine to start making coffee, Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t ordered anything and choses to ignore it.

“Sam talks about me? Why would be talk about me?”

Castiel squints and turns his head, he seems confused by the question like Dean is speaking another language.  

“Of course he does.” Castiel has returned his focus back onto the coffee and is pouring it into a cup before turing around to the wall behind him that is layer with what looks like hundreds of different coffee syrup. Seriously how could there be that many flavors? Castiel seems to find the one he’s looking for, which appears to have a drawing of a bee on it with golden syrup inside. 

Dean doesn’t realize he’s been staring at Castiel this whole time. He can’t seem to figure this guy out. Castiel pours a small amount into the take-away coffee cup and hands it to Dean.

“Ah I didn’t order anything” 

Castiel smiles 

“No you didn’t this is a personal favorite of mine.” Castiel is stilling holding out the cup to Dean. Dean reluctantly takes the cup. He starts pulling out his wallet.

“How much do I owe you?” 

“That’s on the house Dean. Think of it as a welcoming present” 

Dean stares at Castiel again he doesn’t understand what’s going on. Maybe it’s a small town thing to be so accommodating, Dean’s not used to it and doesn’t know if he trusts it.

“Jesus he looks so scared” Balthazar is staring at Dean, he seemed just as confused as Dean by this whole exchange. 

“We promise it’s not poison” Castiel laughs

“Right thanks, that’s-ah thanks” 

He puts his wallet away “Well I’ve got boxes to unpack, so I guess I’ll see you around” Dean feels exhausted by this whole affair, he doesn’t even think the coffee in his hand will wake him up.

“Of course, hopefully we’ll see you around Dean” Castiel seems to have picked up on Dean’s discomfort and is taking pity on him. Dean must not be the first to be completely confused by Castiel.

“Yeah, see ya around Castiel, Balthazar” Dean waves over his shoulder as he makes his way out of the shop. When he gets outside he feels like he’s come back into reality. Dean looks down at the coffee cup in his hand completely forgotten. He takes a sip and scrunches up his face, way to sweet to what Dean’s used too, and much too weak.

He lets out a sigh as he starts back towards his apartment. Dean’s phone starts to ring, and he sees that Sam’s calling.

“Hey Sammy, whats new?” Dean continues to drink the coffee afraid that if he doesn’t Castiel will know like he has some kind of psychic ability.   

“Hey Dean, just study. How’s the move going? You finished unpacking? Sam seems really excited like a hyperactive puppy, which is isn’t too far from the truth.

“Ah no, I haven’t finished unpacking” Dean starts to feel a little guilty. Sam is so excited that Dean agreed to make the move, and Dean can’t even fake his enthusiasm.

“What have you been doing?” Dean can hear the disappointment in Sam’s voice. 

“I’ve been...I went to one of the places on your list. Eden’s garden” Dean has been in the town for a couple of days so it’s not the best excuse to why he hasn’t finished unpacking. 

Sam lets out a loud laugh.

“Well that explains why you sound so shell shocked. Let me guess you met Castiel?”

“Yeah...interesting little dorky guy” Dean has no idea how to even begin to explain this guy.

“Oh Dean you haven’t seen anything yet.”

Dean sighs, finishing off his coffee.

“Yeah that’s what I was afraid of.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.  
> Just a quick note, I have decided to change the title of this fic from "Take me back to the start" to "Always."  
> I never really liked the title to begin with and after listening to The Veronicas song "Always" I felt it captured what I intend for this story.
> 
> Listen here [The Veronicas Always.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhKqRLHLGpI)
> 
>  [My Tumblr](http://eleanorball.tumblr.com)

Dean was lying in his bed counting down the minutes on his alarm clock, He hadn’t been sleeping well, only ever achieving four hours per night. He would have loved to be able to sleep a couple more hours, with today being his first day at his new job, the last thing he wanted was to be tired.

Dean’s alarm goes off, he sighs getting up and tripping over clothes that he left at the floor of his bed. Dean kicks them away and into another pile. He really should clean his room, he usually keeps his apartment cleaner than this, but hasn’t felt the motivation. He sighs again as he walks out of his room to see piles of boxes scattered around his apartment. He still hasn’t unpacked, he had meant too after going for coffee the day before but decided to watch a movie instead. Which Dean now regrets.

Dean stumbles into the kitchen to look through the fridge, he hasn’t gotten his groceries yet he’s been eating take-out for the last couple of days. So of course there wouldn’t magically be food let alone breakfast.

“Dammit” Dean mumbles as he closes the fridge, he’ll have to stop on the way. Dean manages to get ready in about twenty minutes since he doesn’t have to make himself breakfast, and makes his way out of his apartment to the front of the street where he’s parked his car. One of the down sides to living at the apartment has been no underground parking, the realer had assured him that nothing bad would happen to his car that she was safe out there. But Dean wasn’t so sure, he didn’t like his baby outside in the cold.

Dean climbs in and starts his car, he’ll make a stop on the way to work to grab himself a coffee and breakfast. Dean’s new place isn’t to far away from his work. Everything is so close together here, Dean bothers driving because if he didn’t the battery might die and the engine will fail and Dean might lose her it would be a crime baby was such a beautiful car. 

Dean can see Eden’s Garden up ahead and tosses up going to eat there, he doesn’t know if he can handle another interaction with Castiel self proclaimed angel of the lord. Unfortunately Dean doesn’t know the town well enough, and Sam’s list that he left him with didn’t seem to name many other places to get food.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. Ok he can do this, Dean pulls the car over in front of the store and makes his way into the shop. A strong smell of coffee hits Dean as he walks in and he can see a few people inside standing at the end near the bistro waiting for their morning coffee. Dean can see Balthazar behind the counter handing a coffee over to an elderly man.

Dean waits at the counter, he can’t see Castiel anywhere, he must not be here yet, Dean looks down at his watch it was only seven thirty. 

“Ah hello Dean, back so soon? Surprised thought we might have scared you off” Balthazar smiles at him. Dean takes a double take realizing he’d never noticed Balthazar accent before, he must have been quite distracted their first meeting.

“You’re British?” Dean responds. 

Balthazar cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Well done Sherlock, seeing your detective work in the flesh is really quite an honor.”

Dean blinks he is a little taken back by Balthazar’s level of sarcasm so early in the morning. It was really quite impressive.

“Right, well I am the best detective of all time” Dean smiles cocky at Balthazar.

Balthazar glares back “fictional detective” obviously Balthazar doesn’t appreciate being sassed back.

“Detective none the less.” Dean could do this all day, thanks to being an older brother.

Balthazar eyes glide up and down Dean before clicking his tongue.

“Well Mr Holmes, what can I get you this morning?”

Dean griminess at the name, he has a feeling the name will stick.

“Ah just a black coffee and one of your muffins.”

Balthazar’s eyebrows shoot up “just plain black coffee nothing else?”

“And a muffin too, Watson” Dean winks, two can play at that game. Balthazar snorts and shakes his head, before putting together Dean’s order.

“Your lucky I’m serving you Dean, there’s no way Castiel would be happy to hear you wanting just plain black coffee” Balthazar chuckles to himself. Pouring out Dean’s coffee into a take-away cup.

“Speaking of, where is the angel of the lord today?” Dean still doesn’t understand the reference Castiel made, he figures it’s probably an inside joke.

“Ah, one thing you need to know about our precious Cassie is that he never get out of bed before noon. He can be quite frightful”

Balthazar has handed Dean’s order over to him, taking the payment from Dean. 

“Are you really just going to drink that as is?” Balthazar is looking at Dean like he’s just walked mud straight into the shop, and offered to clean it up and drink it. Which going by the blackness of the coffee could appear that way.

Dean smiles and takes a sip, letting out a satisfied sigh, winking at Balthazar.

“You’re really a monster Dean Winchester” Balthazar replies as Dean walks out of the shop, making Dean chuckle.

 

***

 

Rufus Turner was the one who ran the garage that Bobby had recommend. He was an older man, strict and straight forward. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t intimidated by him. Dean figured if he worked hard and kept to himself there wouldn’t be any trouble.  
Rufus and Bobby had been friends for years and would get together once every blue moon, having a weird relationship that could thrive with little to no contact, Dean would never understand. They both claimed that they were always to busy to catch up. even though they only lived half an hour away from each other. Dean figured either man couldn’t be bothered driving all that way to only end up in an argument when they could easily do that over the phone. 

Dean had met Rufus a couple of times while staying with Bobby when John had run off to God knows where. Bobby and Rufus would start watching a football game, Dean had made the mistake of joining them once, and ended up in a heated argument, nearly getting kicked out. Dean never watched the game with them ever again.

As Dean walked into the office Rufus grunts a hello from the front desk, he’s looking through papers and with each flip becoming more annoyed “You’re here early” Rufus finally says looking through another pile having abandoned the first one.

“Yeah figured it was my first day, get in early, get a head start on how everything runs.” Dean’s watching Rufus pulling more files out wondering if he is even listening.

“Yeah well I don’t pay over time. So start as early as you want and stay as long as you want, but don’t think you’ll be payed. You’ll be payed the eight hours that I agreed upon.” Rufus drops the pile and starts to walk through a door behind the front desk signaling for Dean to follow. Rufus seems to have given up on the mission he was struggling with.

Through the back of the shop Rufus shows Dean the locker rooms, bathroom and the small lunch room they have. The whole place is a tight fit but it’s only a small garage, and Dean is already used to working in a small cubical before coming here. Anything bigger could make him feel uncomfortable.

Rufus walks ahead to show Dean the actual garage, rounding a corner and nearly running face first into another man who dashes from behind the corner. “Jesus” Rufus yells as he jumps back trying to stop himself running into the other man.

“Sorry, sorry” the man places his hands up in surrender. He is a smaller man, extremely thin with eyes that that seem to bulge out of his head which looks comical considering his near fatal collision.

Rufus runs a hand over his face sighing. “This-” Rufus gestures towards the other man still with his hands up “-is Garth, Garth this is Dean our new mechanic.”

Dean nods a hello at Garth, of course his name is Garth everyone in this town has weird names. Must be a requirement to living here. Garth seems to shine at Dean. “Ah you’re Sam’s brother was wondering when we were going to meet the other half of the Winchester’s. Though I thought you’d be taller, which...would be pretty scary considering how big Sam is” Garth laughs punching Dean’s arm. Dean simply stares at Garth whose smiles vanishes from his face, stuttering an apology.

Rufus shakes his head muttering under his breath. Jesus does everyone know that Sam is his brother? 

“Garth I need you to help me find a piece of paper that I had yesterday” Rufus has started walking again towards a room with “Office” on the door, Dean figures that Rufus must have forgotten that he was going to show him the garage. Must be a pretty important piece of paper.

“Of course, do you remember, where the last place you saw it was?” Garth asks trailing behind Rufus. “Well if I knew that, I wouldn’t have lost it!” Rufus yells back. Yep Dean thinks rocking on his heels this is going to be fun.

 

***

Dean settles into the garage and for most of the morning has his head under the hood of a car. This has always been relaxing for Dean kinda like his own brand of mediation. Sam had told him to try actual mediation, with the breathing and the visualizing, even tried to bring him to a yoga class. Luckily Dean had managed to get himself out of it, something about uneven chakra. Sam had been disappointed, but that, that atmosphere just wasn’t Dean, he didn’t feel comfortable getting his hippy on in a room full of people. But this, working on cars trying to figure out what was wrong with them and fixing it. That was his happy place. 

Dean liked that he could fix them, it was something he felt he had control over. Having been the buffer for his father and Sam for years it was nice to know that there was something he could do, something that needed him. Dean had been doing damage control for their relationship for years and finally given up their relationship beyond repair. Dean sighed, thinking about this just messed with his head, he should just stop thinking about his broken family, there was nothing he could do now.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

The sudden interruption caused Dean to jump hitting his head on the hood of the car he had been working on. “Son of a bitch” Dean cursed rubbing the back of his head, turning to find a guilty Castiel standing behind him.

“Hello Dean” Castiel smiled up at Dean, as Dean glared back. “Before you kill me I would like to start my three part apology.” Dean frowns at Castiel. But nods for him to continue. 

“Thank you oh exasperated one” Castiel seems to bow a little.

Dean huffs “You’re off to a good start there Cas.”

Castiel smiles mouthing the word “Cas” before nodding, handing a bag to Dean, who takes it gingerly. Dean frowns down at the bag like he’s been given Sam’s order by mistake, and given where Castiel works it wouldn’t be that hard to believe. Castiel seems to notice his hesitation and shifts on his feet.

“Don’t worry Dean, there’s only one type of green food in there.”

Dean slowly opens the bag and see’s a BLT sandwich inside. Ok the sandwich doesn’t seem to bad appearance wise, taste could be a completely different story. He looks back at Castiel. 

“Ok what else you got for me?”

Castiel eyebrows raise “I feel as through I’m trying to tame the wildlife into trusting me.” Dean just looks at Castiel unblinking. It’s not that he’s too mad with the guy, it’s just fun to mess with people. Dean is an older brother after all his actions are completely instinct.

“Ok part two of my apology” Castiel hands Dean a cup “One pipping hot cup of tar freshly scrapped from the road this morning” Dean grabs the cup gulping down the hot liquid. “Hey Cas don’t knock it, this is liquid gold” Dean smiles he’s in a better mood now that he has had coffee, he’d had some this morning and the effects of it were wearing off and Dean didn’t think he couldn’t have made it through the rest of the day without the liquid motivation.

Castiel shakes his head. “Well I wouldn’t recommend drinking gold either Dean.” 

“Alright, alright what’s with all this stuff? or did you plan to scare me from the start, which I gotta say Cas that’s a pretty dick move.”

Castiel tilts his head “on the contrary Dean, I came to bring you lunch. I figured your new here you probably haven’t had time to do your shopping so I thought I’d be neighborly and bring you something.” Dean regards Castiel sizing him up.

“Yeah well what do I owe you?”

Castiel shakes his head.

“Now what kind of neighbor would I be if I charged you?” 

“So you’re giving it to me for free?”

“Yes” Castiel tilts his head regarding Dean “this exchange seems to be confusing you.”

“Well where I come from people don’t just give you things for free without wanting something in return.”

Castiel lifts his hands in surrender “there is nothing I’m after.”

“Ah huh” Dean doesn’t understand this man, though this town has it’s fair share of weirdoes. Castiel seems to be the strangest.

“What’s part three?” Dean asks.

Castiel perks up “excuse me?”

“Part three, you said you had a three part apology for me. What’s part three?”

“Oh right!” Castiel smiles at himself. Maybe Dean was wrong maybe Castiel was just a huge dork. 

“I was going to invite you to my place.” 

Dean steps back, a little taken back by Castiel’s bluntness. Castiel on the other hand is just staring like inviting strangers over to your house is completely normal. 

“Gee Cas, buy a guy a drink first” Dean tries to laugh to hide how uncomfortable he feels by the sudden invitation. Dean has been asked out before by girls and guys, it doesn’t surprise his as much as it used too, but in the middle of the day and finding Dean at his work is definitely a first. 

Dean doesn’t think Castiel is a threat he seems like a nice guy-wait no that’s not the problem Dean can’t do a relationship right now especially with a guy that would just bring up too many problems.

“Well to be fair I brought both a drink and food” Castiel points at the coffee and bag in Dean’s hands. Dean starts to hand both back but hesitates. They both smell and look good, this was a new low for Dean. Castiel laughs, finding amusement in Dean’s disgruntled look.

“Look Cas, you seem like a nice guy but I not looking for a relationship-” Dean begins.

Castiel lets out a snort “Oh no! Dean that’s no what I meant, sorry. I usually have a bonfire at my place every month or so. I invite a few people from around the town. I simply thought you might be interested in joining, meeting a few people.”

Dean blinks a couple of times processing what Castiel has just said to him. Not a date. 

“Oh...oh right ok” Dean shifts on his feet still holding the food and drink awkwardly. Castiel seems to stare at him waiting for Dean to say more. When Dean doesn’t he clears his throat before specking. 

“Ok? as in yes you would like to come, or ok as in you understand what I’ve just asked?” 

Castiel tilts his head again, like that will give more insight into Dean. Dean wondered if it ever gives Castiel a neck cramp with how much he seems to do it.

Castiel is still staring when Dean realizes he’s been asked a question and stumbles on his words. “Ok...” Dean shakes his head, like he’s trying to get his thoughts to line up. 

“I mean ok, yeah maybe...no sorry I’ve still got a lot to unpack and it’s pretty busy here at the garage-” Dean cuts off pointing behind him at the clearly empty garage and Castiel steps on his tippy toes to see over Dean shoulder, nodding his head at the obvious excuse Dean was making yet not calling him out on it. Dean must not be the first person that’s lied to Castiel about not wanting to come.

Castiel’s still nodding at Dean’s answer “well like I said happens every month on a Friday. You’re always welcome and if you’re a little nervous Sam usually comes so maybe you could go with him.”

“Sam? Really?” Dean’s surprised that Sam’s being going to these things, didn’t think Sam would be interested, Dean couldn’t imagine him hanging out with Castiel and his friends.  
Plus Sam had never mentioned them before. “Has he been to much?”

“Ah yes a few actually, it’s actually where I introduced him to Jess.” Castiel seems to light up at this, his blue eyes shining.

“Wait you introduced them?” Dean hadn’t met Jess yet. But Sam had talked about her a lot. Dean frowns he didn’t know that Castiel had introduced them, another thing Sam had never mentioned. It was pretty sad that Dean hadn’t even met her yet either, considering they had been dating for half a year all ready. Jess hadn’t been to John’s funeral. In fact Dean is sure that John didn’t even know about Jess, Sam must be trying to keep her away from his family. She must be pretty special.

“Yes” Castiel mimicked Dean’s frown, watching him carefully.

“Oh really” is all Dean manages to say he knows he’s closing up. He’s starting to feel that maybe this move wasn’t such a good idea.

“Dean have you met Jess?” 

“Ah yeah, kinda..a little” Dean shuffles on his feet he doesn‘t want to tell Castiel that he’s never met his brother’s girlfriend. How broken would that make Dean’s family look, even if they were it was none of anyone’s business.

“Oh well she’s lovely” Castiel smiles at Dean he seems to have seen through Dean. “I think you’d really like her. She also comes nearly every bonfire, unless she’s cramming for exams or assignments. She’s a first year like Sam.”

“Ok ok Cas I get it, everyone’s going to your bonfire. And it’s going to be an amazing night and we’re going to stand around the bonfire and sing kumbaya” Dean chuckles at his own dry sarcasm. 

“Well that’s the plan yes” Castiel answers deadpan, Dean’s not sure if Castiel’s playing him or not. Dean’s not even sure Castiel picked up on the sarcasm but then again the guy does work with Balthazar.

Dean shakes his head, this whole exchange is making his head hurt and leaving him confused as of what to make of Castiel, he is a hard guy to read. 

“Well ok, I’ll think about it, but I better go take my break and then finish this car...so thanks for the food and I’ll see you around Cas” Dean turns to leave.

“Dean!”

Dean stops and turns back to Castiel.

“So does that mean I’m forgiven? for your head” Castiel taps his own head and Dean moves his hand to mirror the action, having forgotten that he bumped it a few minutes ago.

“Well I don’t know Cas, this” Dean points to his head “is at least a four to five part apology.” Castiel chuckles shaking his head.

“Well come Friday and I’ll give you the next two parts” Castiel cocks his eyebrow in a challenge.

Dean chuckles, Castiel really is a resilient bastard.

“See ya Cas” Dean calls as he turns back to the garage before saying something he’ll regret.

Dean sits down in the break room and opens the bag. The sandwich looks great. Dean bets that Castiel probably grows all the ingredients, and churns the cheese he seems like the type. Dean takes a bite and groans. Dammit it’s one of the best sandwich’s he’s had and that just pisses Dean off.


End file.
